I want to work hard, I want to go in early and come home late. I want meetings and deadlines and to be held accountable and set goals. I want to teach people what I've learned and learn from them, too. I want to make money but just a bit more. Just enough to rent a house and maybe get a better car for now.
I know I made my choices and I know that's how I got here. I knew when I made those choices that my future would be difficult because of them but they were important and they are the reason I am who I am right now. I just wish I'd been a little more cautious, not wasted so much time and money. But I guess that was all a part of it, too.
I feel like I've been stuck on the same level of this game for far too long. I keep looking for the next step, checking behind each door, discovering the next key, even doubling back from time to time to see if there was something I've missed. I'm frustrated. I want out. I want out so damn bad.
I hate it when my confidence lulls like this. I believe in myself, I know I can be all I want to be because I am that already. I just can't find a way to
Well, whatever then. Here I am and here I'll stay until something changes. I will not lay down, I will not give in. I will fight and be frustrated and try and try and try until I get ahead. I believe in me. I just wish I could convince someone else to believe in me, too.
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