Frustration

This is the second post of this name tonight. But let me get a little more in-depth, if you will...

Frustration?

I need to do better. I know who I am. I know what I can accomplish. But I've never done it without pot or anti-depressants. And, to be completely honest, I'm floundering. Even with, things aren't what they used to be. I'm 250 pounds. Two. Hundred. And fifty. Pounds. I make 30 thousand dollars a year. I drive a shit car. I have no clothes. I live in a stupid apartment. But I have love.

Is it enough? For now? I guess. In the long run? No.

But how do I get going?

I don't know.

And I think I'm really afraid that I won't find my way again.

I'm drowning.

All I need is a branch.

But where is it?

And, if I reaching out for it, am I not also pushing it away?